Rant

Nov. 27th, 2007 12:55 pm
Dear Authors and Publishers:

When I pick up a romance with the prefixes paranormal, futurist or fantasy I do it because I want the author to go to the bother of building a world for the H/h to fall in love in. In the last few months I've read six books that took place in recycled cardboard boxes. From what I hear there are more out there like that. Poorly dressed Vampire Slayers and were-beast of all sorts crowd under bridges with starship captains and aliens dressed in skin tight futurist foil suits. They are holding up signs that say 'will work for a plot.' Please help out these poor, sometimes equaly cardboard, souls. And speaking of souls, I really hate when being a destined soul-mate is a short cut to HEA and/or shagging!

The only satisfying book I've read lately is White Knight and poor Harry Dresden hasn't gotten any in two years! Is romance and fantasy in equal meassure asking too much?
I spent money I probably should've saved for Holiday shopping on myself Monday. Went out to eat first, I feel like a dirty old woman but the yummiest thing was the waiter. The kid could've been John Barrowman's younger brother and he had a great voice too. I almost want to thank the host for seating us at his table.

After leave the tip and wipping up our drool the niece and I went to the used book store. She decided that the cover of "The Last Viking" was too cheesey to pass up and had buy it. The real reason were out was to see Beowulf so it kind of fit the theme. We hadn't killed enough time at the book store so we sat around and MST3Ked "the Last Viking". It was a time travel story! Reviews of this novel make it seem pretty good but boy was it fun to open it and randomly read aloud. And it added even more fun to watching "Beowulf" for example we read the hero noting that when he removed his loincloth and she saw what was beneath, Merry-Death [Hclever name for the h] eyes bulged because the gods had been kind to him in the respect. So when there was a simalar sceen in the movie It made the niece and I laugh even harder than we might've. Even seeing one of the Vikings cook a rabbit made us grin because when Merry-Death sees her poor misplaced Viking for the first time he's trying to cook a rabbit in her fireplace. I haven't decided if a half naked man cooking bunny is Anya's dream date or worse nightmare.

BTW Beowulf was amazing lots of plot and lots of pretty.

For those who are waiting. Jane has the next chapter of T&P.
I've just listened to an audio book that was a waste of time. i DL it because normally Lori Foster is a fun read but the h in Caught in the Act annoyed me to no end. H is a cop who at the start of the story takes a bullet in the shoulder saving the h from armed robbers. A day later the h takes the H to her home puts him in bed and thanks very nicely! I didn't mind this, I mean the guy was realy hot, and saved her life. What annoyed me [and the Anya on my shoulder.] was that the woman couldn't own it. There was too much time dedicated to explaining how she hadn't had sex in two years, was very, very picky and OMG so tight she was almost a virgin. A woman who was as reserved as the author claimed she was would've at least given the guy's bullet wound a chance to heal before saying thank you so rigorously. It wasn't that the h behaved baddly it was that it didn't make sense.

Then I read a blog, can't remember where, about where the line between sexually adventurous and being a slut is. So it got me thinking here is the advice my T & P Anya would give Dawn about sex.

“I know that Joyce talked to you about all this; and I’m not trying to be your mom. I just think we should go over some things now that you're dating. I want you to be able to enjoy a guilt free sexual awakening when the time comes.”

All Dawn could think of was that stuff Janice said about the ways you can have sex without *really* having it. She said a quick prayer that Anya wouldn’t use produce as a visual aide too. “Oh god, do I have to? Everyone else has guilt. Guilt is good,I mean without guilt I might add a ‘us’ on the end of my name or something.”

Anya gave her a stern look and held her hand so she couldn’t leave without looking silly.“Sex should never be an unkind act. It shouldn't be used to harm or manipulate your partner. It should never be an act of unfaithfulness to a partner or your own beliefs. Above all, it should never be unsafe. Meet the guy at beach durring the day first and always bring condoms."

Dawn blinked, she should’ve known better. "Aren't you going to say anything about waiting until I'm really in love?"

"When you're ready to have sex you'll probably convince yourself you're in love. And Dawnie, If you ever have a question or a problem you can come to me or your father. We won't be too harsh. You’ll never make a mistake we haven’t first."

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August 2013

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