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II froze up again trying to bring in the laundry. The idea of trying to step over something didn't seem to help. I've got to figure out how to deal with this. My PT suggested there might be a physcal reason and that I should talk to my doctor about it. I will but I doubt he'll do more than try to push muscle relaxants and pain pills , or worse antidepressants on me. They're ok for people that need them and actually feel better when they take them but I've tried many different ones over the years and all they ever do is cause sleepiness and increassed depression. In my case when PT doesn't work a glass of wine and a warm bath are my best bet for riding out the pain. I've had to go to emergency room a few times to get a shot to release a bad spasm but that doesn't happen often.
I say all this to explain that it's taken me a while to convince my doctor that I'm not clinically depressed. Yes, I consider it a real disease and I wouldn't considered it shameful to have. It's just that depression in my case evaporates so quickly and comepletely once I can move again without pain I can't help but be convinced that it has to with the brain damage I have and not with any chemical imbalance. I just can't help thinking that after hearing about this he'll start beating the drum again. Because I'm single and disabled I must be on the edge of sticking my head in an oven. I have my blue moments doc but that's what they are moments. Most days I thank the lord I live on my own.
I say all this to explain that it's taken me a while to convince my doctor that I'm not clinically depressed. Yes, I consider it a real disease and I wouldn't considered it shameful to have. It's just that depression in my case evaporates so quickly and comepletely once I can move again without pain I can't help but be convinced that it has to with the brain damage I have and not with any chemical imbalance. I just can't help thinking that after hearing about this he'll start beating the drum again. Because I'm single and disabled I must be on the edge of sticking my head in an oven. I have my blue moments doc but that's what they are moments. Most days I thank the lord I live on my own.
