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ETA: Jane's beta'd this a bit now. for those of you that might need something fluffy. Set in season 5 of BtVS, maybe. Spike is chipped and it's before the Gift anyway. It might make a tad more sense if you've seen Who 3.3 but there aren't real spoilers.
The universe must really hate him, Spike thought, rubbing the back of his head and resisting the urge to rip it open. The chip was probably going to start zapping him for stepping on daisies next. After the third day, the accumulation of zaps from the chip had caused a lingering ache in Spike’s skull and he gave up. “Well, if you can’t eat ‘em, join ‘em. It hasn’t worked so well with the humans around here, but maybe you lot will be more grateful for my help.”
There was something eerily familiar about the way the ginger colored one in the pink velvet ribbon kept patting him with her paws. Like she wanted to console him.
“You lot are eating better than me, but I'd rather feed you albacore and ice cream than open a can of that stinky cat food and that kibble stuff looks about as appealing as dry Weetabix.”
“Hello, the crypt!” Somebody that looked human but didn’t smell that way opened the door and came right in. He wore a brown suit and a big grin. “Are you William?”
“Who the bloody hell are you?” Spike asked.
“I’m the Doctor, and trust me on this I don’t taste very good. All three of them are here, that’s marvelous. I’m sure their parents will be very grateful. Maybe there will be a tiny William in the next litter, won't that be nice?”
“Hey! Leave my kittens be, you prat!”
“They aren’t exactly kittens, you know, just like the demon you won them from wasn’t exactly a demon.”
”The bloke was purple and had green horns. What was he then; an alien?”
“He was a kidnapper, and we both know that you’re the Pratt here, William.”
Spike stood there sputtering long enough for the Doctor to exit with the ‘not exactly’ kittens. When he got to the crypt door Spike could see the kittens on the Doctor’s shoulders and head. He must’ve gotten some bad blood because he could swear that each little kitten was waving a tiny paw. Even weirder, right in front of the Smith crypt was a blue police call box. He hadn’t seen one of those in years. Dru used to be afraid of them; said they were sneaky, and bigger on the inside, or something.
When the Doctor took the kittens inside the call box it made a grinding noise and disappeared. Spike resolved never to breath a word to anyone. There are some things in this world so bizarre even demons don’t believe them.
The universe must really hate him, Spike thought, rubbing the back of his head and resisting the urge to rip it open. The chip was probably going to start zapping him for stepping on daisies next. After the third day, the accumulation of zaps from the chip had caused a lingering ache in Spike’s skull and he gave up. “Well, if you can’t eat ‘em, join ‘em. It hasn’t worked so well with the humans around here, but maybe you lot will be more grateful for my help.”
There was something eerily familiar about the way the ginger colored one in the pink velvet ribbon kept patting him with her paws. Like she wanted to console him.
“You lot are eating better than me, but I'd rather feed you albacore and ice cream than open a can of that stinky cat food and that kibble stuff looks about as appealing as dry Weetabix.”
“Hello, the crypt!” Somebody that looked human but didn’t smell that way opened the door and came right in. He wore a brown suit and a big grin. “Are you William?”
“Who the bloody hell are you?” Spike asked.
“I’m the Doctor, and trust me on this I don’t taste very good. All three of them are here, that’s marvelous. I’m sure their parents will be very grateful. Maybe there will be a tiny William in the next litter, won't that be nice?”
“Hey! Leave my kittens be, you prat!”
“They aren’t exactly kittens, you know, just like the demon you won them from wasn’t exactly a demon.”
”The bloke was purple and had green horns. What was he then; an alien?”
“He was a kidnapper, and we both know that you’re the Pratt here, William.”
Spike stood there sputtering long enough for the Doctor to exit with the ‘not exactly’ kittens. When he got to the crypt door Spike could see the kittens on the Doctor’s shoulders and head. He must’ve gotten some bad blood because he could swear that each little kitten was waving a tiny paw. Even weirder, right in front of the Smith crypt was a blue police call box. He hadn’t seen one of those in years. Dru used to be afraid of them; said they were sneaky, and bigger on the inside, or something.
When the Doctor took the kittens inside the call box it made a grinding noise and disappeared. Spike resolved never to breath a word to anyone. There are some things in this world so bizarre even demons don’t believe them.
