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TITLE: The Sofa In Hell 1/?
PAIRING: Anya/Giles, Wes/OFC
RATING: FRT probably
SUMMARY: AU immediately post Tabula Rasa. Have you ever looked for your car keys in the sofa cushions and found some loose change too? When Anya and everyone else lost their memories, she found Aud. It wasn’t nearly as pleasant as finding money; it was more like finding petrified popcorn. At least until she rediscovered a couple of ex-Watchers. I have an OFC in mind for Wes; and in case you're wondering, Anya has no plans to mother him at all.
A/N Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
janedavitt &agilebrit for beta and general input.
Just as all vampires were once human, all vengeance demons were once wish makers, people who tried to bend the world to their will. Anya knew this was true. What she was unaware of for most of her existence, was what her own wish had robbed her of. One moment she was being wonderfully and thoroughly kissed by her handsome British fiancée, and the next the Tabula Rasa spell was broken and, in Anya’s case, with more than the return of just recent memories.
Anya recalled over 1100 years of existence in vivid and sometimes painful detail. The most painful and shocking recollection was of Aud’s real memories; her wish that Olaf become the ugly troll he behaved like and, worst of all, the spell she'd done before that to forget her pain.
Anya tore herself away from the warmth of Giles’ arms and nearly stumbled into a display case on the way to the bathroom. She got there just in time to vomit into the sink. She was shivering and sobbing. The phone rang and somebody tapped on the door. Anya rinsed her mouth out and tried to stop shaking.
Giles' voice came through the door. “That was Xander on the phone. He and the girls are safe at home. They were more than halfway there when the spell broke.” Then Giles asked that monarch of all stupid questions, “Are you all right?”
“I’m terrible.”
Giles opened the door between them. “Anya, it was just a kiss. Xander doesn’t even need to know. Even if you do tell him, I’m certain he’d understand.” Giles was close enough for Anya to feel his breath as he talked. He was saying what he believed to be the right words but his eyes looked like he wanted to hold her again. Anya didn’t think she deserved to be warm like that right now.
“This isn’t about the kiss. What did you remember just now?”
“That we weren't engaged.”
“Then?”
“Well, everything…” His voice trailed off and Anya could see him start to comprehend what had just happened to her. “Dear Lord, over a thousand years in one moment. All that vengeance.”
“Yes, but that’s not the worst of it. When I was a demon my conscience was, I don’t know, disconnected, maybe? So that stuff feels bad but in a remote kind of way.”
“I think I understand what you’re saying. This is a good thing, Anya. I’m not sure you’d be able to stay sane otherwise.”
Anya turned away from Giles. The bathroom was beginning to feel confining. But she didn’t want to leave yet. If they went back into the shop, Giles might want to get back to normal, whatever that was. He might not want to listen to what she had to tell him where they usually interacted. “You don’t understand at all. I did a spell when I was human,” she said to Giles' reflection in the mirror.
Giles nodded. “You turned your husband into a troll?”
“That was part of it, the part that I kept in the Disney-esque remake of my memories. I also willed to forget my pain. So I remembered being angry when Olaf left me for a load-bearing wench. The memory of raising bunnies replaced the ones of my baby boy that died before he got a name. Because I wanted to forget my pain I forgot him. I forgot him and Gry, the daughter Olaf sold when she was three. I didn’t know I’d forget all about them. I just thought the hurt would go away.”
Anya looked at the reflection of Giles’ eyes and didn’t see the condemnation that was in her own. Instead, there was real empathy. And something else, too. Something stronger than empathy. All he said was, “God. I’m so very sorry, Anya.”
“It’s all right. It was a long time ago. Isn’t that what I should say?” Anya scrubbed at the tears on her face. “It’s only because of whatever happened that it feels like it was just a few minutes ago. You kissed me and my whole life changed. I should’ve realized my memories had been altered. It was all Astroturf green grass and very picturesque, if unfriendly, peasants.”
“You finish up here, Anya. I’m going to fix us something to drink.” There was a quickly aborted smile. “We’ll be very irresponsible and not bother to clean things up until morning.”
By the time Anya came back out there were two steaming cups on the table. “It’s tea?” Anya asked.
“Did you want something else?”
“No, no I just wasn’t sure what you would fix. There’s tea and whiskey under the counter and you might’ve made me coffee because you know I like it. At least in the morning. I knew it wouldn’t be the diet Pepsi though…” Anya ran out of things to say about beverages and they sat quietly drinking for a few moments. “I didn’t just let him take my little girl. I went gathering wood and Olaf said he’d watch her while she napped. I should have realized.”
“You must’ve been very young when your daughter was born.”
“I was 15 and it was 880 in Sjornjost. Everyone had children at a young age.”
Giles removed his glasses. “Did you say your daughter’s name was Gry?” Anya nodded. “I might know what became of her. If my returned memories weren’t all so new I might never have made the connection, but Wesley once boasted that he could trace his family back to Gry of Sjornjost who married her Watcher around 900 AD. I’m only a third generation Watcher.”
“That’s why those holy men took her away? They were Watchers and she was going to be a Slayer? I imagined a thousand different things before I couldn’t stand it anymore. This doesn’t make me feel better.”
“I know it’s not a happy fate, but she was a good Slayer according to Wesley, and she lived long enough to have a child.”
Anya laughed harshly. “The twerp that tried to take over your job is my descendant? I would love to tell Olaf that. He would hate the idea. You know what’s even funnier? D'Hoffryn has tried to get Halfrek or me to get a claw in the door of the Wyndam-Pryce home for generations. All this time we’ve been one big screwed up family. ”
“The family connection is very distant. I wasn’t suggesting that there was any obligation on either side. I just thought it would comfort you to know what happened to Gry.”
“Thank you.”
Giles stood up and cleared the cups away. “I think I had better get you back home. Xander will be worried.”
“Giles, do you know Wesley’s address?”
“Anya, I shouldn’t have told you about Wesley’s family. I wouldn’t advise this.”
“I know it’s silly but I want to see his eyes. I didn’t notice them when we met. I was too worried about the ascension.”
“He has two eyes just like most of the human race. And he’s only slightly more related to you than all the rest of us are!” Giles said. He grabbed a broom and started to clean up as if it were an alternative to throwing something.
“What difference does it make to you if I go see a man with two eyes who boasts about my daughter?”
“He brags about a name on his family tree. A name in the Watcher’s diaries. You’re in those books, too, but any connection between the two of you is conspicuously absent.” Giles made a sound between a sigh and a groan of frustration. “I don’t want to see you to get hurt.”
“Giles, I meant what I said, my whole world changed when we kissed. I’m going give Xander his ring back, and then I’m going to L.A. to see Wesley. It won’t hurt to close the shop for a couple of days.”
“Anya, when you’ve had some time to process all this you may regret…”
"You’re right. I’ll ask Tara if she can mind the store.”
“If you must go to Los Angeles, I’ll take you,” Giles said.
“I thought you were leaving?” Anya asked. “Not that I’m complaining. I’d like your company.”
“The last I looked, L.A. wasn’t Sunnydale.” There was something evasive about Giles’ answer but Anya was too exhausted to figure it out.
PAIRING: Anya/Giles, Wes/OFC
RATING: FRT probably
SUMMARY: AU immediately post Tabula Rasa. Have you ever looked for your car keys in the sofa cushions and found some loose change too? When Anya and everyone else lost their memories, she found Aud. It wasn’t nearly as pleasant as finding money; it was more like finding petrified popcorn. At least until she rediscovered a couple of ex-Watchers. I have an OFC in mind for Wes; and in case you're wondering, Anya has no plans to mother him at all.
A/N Thanks to
janedavitt &agilebrit for beta and general input.Just as all vampires were once human, all vengeance demons were once wish makers, people who tried to bend the world to their will. Anya knew this was true. What she was unaware of for most of her existence, was what her own wish had robbed her of. One moment she was being wonderfully and thoroughly kissed by her handsome British fiancée, and the next the Tabula Rasa spell was broken and, in Anya’s case, with more than the return of just recent memories.
Anya recalled over 1100 years of existence in vivid and sometimes painful detail. The most painful and shocking recollection was of Aud’s real memories; her wish that Olaf become the ugly troll he behaved like and, worst of all, the spell she'd done before that to forget her pain.
Anya tore herself away from the warmth of Giles’ arms and nearly stumbled into a display case on the way to the bathroom. She got there just in time to vomit into the sink. She was shivering and sobbing. The phone rang and somebody tapped on the door. Anya rinsed her mouth out and tried to stop shaking.
Giles' voice came through the door. “That was Xander on the phone. He and the girls are safe at home. They were more than halfway there when the spell broke.” Then Giles asked that monarch of all stupid questions, “Are you all right?”
“I’m terrible.”
Giles opened the door between them. “Anya, it was just a kiss. Xander doesn’t even need to know. Even if you do tell him, I’m certain he’d understand.” Giles was close enough for Anya to feel his breath as he talked. He was saying what he believed to be the right words but his eyes looked like he wanted to hold her again. Anya didn’t think she deserved to be warm like that right now.
“This isn’t about the kiss. What did you remember just now?”
“That we weren't engaged.”
“Then?”
“Well, everything…” His voice trailed off and Anya could see him start to comprehend what had just happened to her. “Dear Lord, over a thousand years in one moment. All that vengeance.”
“Yes, but that’s not the worst of it. When I was a demon my conscience was, I don’t know, disconnected, maybe? So that stuff feels bad but in a remote kind of way.”
“I think I understand what you’re saying. This is a good thing, Anya. I’m not sure you’d be able to stay sane otherwise.”
Anya turned away from Giles. The bathroom was beginning to feel confining. But she didn’t want to leave yet. If they went back into the shop, Giles might want to get back to normal, whatever that was. He might not want to listen to what she had to tell him where they usually interacted. “You don’t understand at all. I did a spell when I was human,” she said to Giles' reflection in the mirror.
Giles nodded. “You turned your husband into a troll?”
“That was part of it, the part that I kept in the Disney-esque remake of my memories. I also willed to forget my pain. So I remembered being angry when Olaf left me for a load-bearing wench. The memory of raising bunnies replaced the ones of my baby boy that died before he got a name. Because I wanted to forget my pain I forgot him. I forgot him and Gry, the daughter Olaf sold when she was three. I didn’t know I’d forget all about them. I just thought the hurt would go away.”
Anya looked at the reflection of Giles’ eyes and didn’t see the condemnation that was in her own. Instead, there was real empathy. And something else, too. Something stronger than empathy. All he said was, “God. I’m so very sorry, Anya.”
“It’s all right. It was a long time ago. Isn’t that what I should say?” Anya scrubbed at the tears on her face. “It’s only because of whatever happened that it feels like it was just a few minutes ago. You kissed me and my whole life changed. I should’ve realized my memories had been altered. It was all Astroturf green grass and very picturesque, if unfriendly, peasants.”
“You finish up here, Anya. I’m going to fix us something to drink.” There was a quickly aborted smile. “We’ll be very irresponsible and not bother to clean things up until morning.”
By the time Anya came back out there were two steaming cups on the table. “It’s tea?” Anya asked.
“Did you want something else?”
“No, no I just wasn’t sure what you would fix. There’s tea and whiskey under the counter and you might’ve made me coffee because you know I like it. At least in the morning. I knew it wouldn’t be the diet Pepsi though…” Anya ran out of things to say about beverages and they sat quietly drinking for a few moments. “I didn’t just let him take my little girl. I went gathering wood and Olaf said he’d watch her while she napped. I should have realized.”
“You must’ve been very young when your daughter was born.”
“I was 15 and it was 880 in Sjornjost. Everyone had children at a young age.”
Giles removed his glasses. “Did you say your daughter’s name was Gry?” Anya nodded. “I might know what became of her. If my returned memories weren’t all so new I might never have made the connection, but Wesley once boasted that he could trace his family back to Gry of Sjornjost who married her Watcher around 900 AD. I’m only a third generation Watcher.”
“That’s why those holy men took her away? They were Watchers and she was going to be a Slayer? I imagined a thousand different things before I couldn’t stand it anymore. This doesn’t make me feel better.”
“I know it’s not a happy fate, but she was a good Slayer according to Wesley, and she lived long enough to have a child.”
Anya laughed harshly. “The twerp that tried to take over your job is my descendant? I would love to tell Olaf that. He would hate the idea. You know what’s even funnier? D'Hoffryn has tried to get Halfrek or me to get a claw in the door of the Wyndam-Pryce home for generations. All this time we’ve been one big screwed up family. ”
“The family connection is very distant. I wasn’t suggesting that there was any obligation on either side. I just thought it would comfort you to know what happened to Gry.”
“Thank you.”
Giles stood up and cleared the cups away. “I think I had better get you back home. Xander will be worried.”
“Giles, do you know Wesley’s address?”
“Anya, I shouldn’t have told you about Wesley’s family. I wouldn’t advise this.”
“I know it’s silly but I want to see his eyes. I didn’t notice them when we met. I was too worried about the ascension.”
“He has two eyes just like most of the human race. And he’s only slightly more related to you than all the rest of us are!” Giles said. He grabbed a broom and started to clean up as if it were an alternative to throwing something.
“What difference does it make to you if I go see a man with two eyes who boasts about my daughter?”
“He brags about a name on his family tree. A name in the Watcher’s diaries. You’re in those books, too, but any connection between the two of you is conspicuously absent.” Giles made a sound between a sigh and a groan of frustration. “I don’t want to see you to get hurt.”
“Giles, I meant what I said, my whole world changed when we kissed. I’m going give Xander his ring back, and then I’m going to L.A. to see Wesley. It won’t hurt to close the shop for a couple of days.”
“Anya, when you’ve had some time to process all this you may regret…”
"You’re right. I’ll ask Tara if she can mind the store.”
“If you must go to Los Angeles, I’ll take you,” Giles said.
“I thought you were leaving?” Anya asked. “Not that I’m complaining. I’d like your company.”
“The last I looked, L.A. wasn’t Sunnydale.” There was something evasive about Giles’ answer but Anya was too exhausted to figure it out.
